women

Diamonds Are (Really Not) A Girl’s Best Friend

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Even with the amount of energy that I have, I, just like most of the general population, feel like I’m struck by bricks when my alarm sounds at 6:30 on a Monday morning. But to actually make matters interesting, this is New York City, and no two days are alike. There is constant commotion, a story to tell, and something strange to see, instantly clicking our internal lightbulbs back on.

It wasn’t even nine AM before something strange and discomforting was brought to my attention by my friends at CityElla. Much like myself, these ladies value women’s views and goals. To see anything suggestive posted by them would result in an instant double take, but all for the right reasons. Standing in line at Starbucks, I was scrolling through Instagram and came across a photo that was posted by CityElla on my feed – one that is destined to spark controversy across many levels – of this billboard ad:

I don’t know how many outdoor ads real estate firm MNS has up across New York, but this one is placed in a prime location of 8th Avenue and 21st Street, where enough people will see it and stop – not just walk on by like it’s any other billboard.

We’re taking several steps backwards with this ad. I shouldn’t even have to say that this ad sexualizes women and kicks them down on the ladder. This woman is clothed in nothing but a button-up that clearly isn’t hers and a deviant glare that says, “I’m only here for the floor-to-celing windows and short walk to Central Park.” At this point, it isn’t even about real estate. It makes it look like women are skipping the “love” in storybook romances and are just falling for materialism, like a rich investment banking man who already owns the apartment a block from Bergdorf’s.

On that note, it also brings up an assumption that is so Little House on the Prairie-centric. Women have been carrying on with their own lives perfectly fine over time, but this ad subtly announces that women have difficulty flying solo – that is, they can’t function without a “man” in their lives, a sole provider, and they can’t afford to live in luxury on their own.

Lana Del Rey may believe that money is the anthem of success, and tangibly, that may be true, but success comes in different outlets for everyone. On my end, I don’t condone seeking success through someone else’s achievements – such as marrying or using someone for money, especially if he has all the complementary attributes (one being an apartment he bought through MNS).

When women don’t marry for love and prefer an invincible credit card over undeniable bliss, it throws us all into a pool of Courtney Stodden seconds. It makes all women out to be that they’re gold diggers who are more excited about the presents their men give them as opposed, well, their literal presence . Shouldn’t that be enough?

Don’t sacrifice your happiness for material items. That one night you spend in the penthouse might seem somewhat monumental in the moment, but will the great story really get any better?

Remember that your actions as a dignified individual do make a difference. If women keep acting like the model in this ad, more ads will be created because the social hypothesis is being proven true. And deep down, you don’t want to contribute to that assumption – do you?

Excuse Me, Miss, Should You Be Here?

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It’s hard for me to argue that without controversy, entertainment would be a lot more difficult for us to find. But once a controversy turns personal, the lines are crossed and what was once entertaining turns into a nuisance.

And unfortunately, lines were crossed against Whitney Wolfe, the (former) VP of Marketing for the dating app Tinder. I, at least, think she was effective in her position – Tinder continued to grow and accumulate more members under her wing. But out of nowhere, she was suddenly fired from the company.

Why? Well, if you’re a tech-savvy feminist, don’t ask the former Tinder VP, Justin Mateen. His justification was that having a young female on the Tinder team made the company “look like a joke” and that other social media platforms like Facebook and Snapchat “don’t have girl founders.”

That statement right there is a problem in itself, a reflection of immature thinking on Mr. Mateen’s part. So a female didn’t come up with the concept of Facebook. Not every company has to operate identically to others, even if it’s in the same industry.

Some industries are more male or female-dominated that others. Fashion vs. sports are two of the most talked-about industries for gender favoritism, but in tech, there’s enough room in Silicon Valley for literally any idea. And if there’s enough room to consider all types of apps, websites, gadgets… why isn’t there enough room for women?

It seems that sexism isn’t just saved for back-and-forth messaging and right-and-left swipes, but it just gets worse and worse in office environments and outside everywhere else. Even though women are getting stronger, the argument against workplace sexism is constantly hanging by a loose thread. The funny thing is that it neither falls nor tightens – it just stays constant.

There’s no scientific law that proves men are smarter than women, or vice versa (other than “Girls go to college to get more knowledge, boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider”). Every person is unique and is stronger in some areas than others, which is an affirmation that everyone needs to be reminded of. What one may lack in HTML or CSS proficiency may be made up for in, you know, common sense and the ability to carry out a conversation. And, believe it or not, these are important field skills.

Whether you’re in tech, editorial, medicine, us ladies shouldn’t let anyone put out our flame. And if anyone tries to, keep burning and fire back – that’s what Ms. Wolfe is doing. She’s suing Tinder in a sexism lawsuit and has apparently been ridiculed for a significant portion of her career at the app. Mr. Mateen better hide, and not just from her, but from all of us.

Ladies First: Samantha Jones

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Every girl has a defining, distinct moment that she remembers where she believes that she emotionally (not physically, there’s actually a difference) (at least in my book) transforms into a woman. Some may replay the memory of their first kiss playing spin-the-bottle and consider that their coming-of-age tale. It may be the purchase your first Coach purse with those backwards and side-to-side, outlined in glitter C’s. On a more graphic note, I was blessed with this moment sitting in front of the TV at age seven or whatever, exposed to a censored ad for HBO’s “Sex and the City.”

I knew my parents were avid fans of “The Sopranos,” but they assumed they could hide it from me. From then on, I was aware that any content on HBO would be risqué, but ads for “Sex and the City” did pop up on other cable outlets and I couldn’t avoid them. But from what I saw, it was just a group of girls hanging out and gossiping, which, even at age seven, my friends and I were guilty of.

So it was relatable. But it wasn’t until I entered my last year of middle school that the movie was released, and a year after that, it was running on HBO. By then, I was 15 and I finally got to meet Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda, and the infamous Samantha Jones.

At that age, my career interests were seeping into public relations and, to quote myself, “wanting to make people famous.” I related to Samantha because she was a PR executive with her own firm. I quickly caught on that her boyfriend/eventual ex-boyfriend was not just an actor, but also her client, who she helped to quickly rise to fame.

While I can’t say that I’m on the same page as all of Samantha’s lifestyle pursuits, I do value her as a career inspiration. After watching the first SATC movie and then catching up on the series via E! re-runs, I admired her non-stop life in PR and her constantly evolving circle of colleagues and friends. Just as a high school student, I envisioned myself like her, working in a floor-to-ceiling glass window office by day, speaking boldly and confidently branding herself, and running around from event to event, including those that she most likely threw together without breaking a sweat, with her clique by night. As fictitious as her character is, her career is achievable for hungry girls like myself. What she does when the work is done, however, isn’t something she has to share.

Hailing The Queens

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One of my favorite movies this past holiday season was, to say it nicely, a controversy. Orchestrated by a renowned director and performed by a half-rookie, half-Oscar-nominated cast, The Wolf of Wall Street stole my heart in a mere 3 hours. I did not want to stop talking about it. I would’ve paid to see it again. And again. It was unique, engaging, and sticking to the point of entertainment in general: entertaining. Dubbed by my friends as fairly “prim and proper,” they were surprised to learn how much I enjoyed this film that was referred to as “softcore porn.” But as an entertainment enthusiast, my response was, “It was just fun. And the action never stopped.”

If you’ve seen the movie, then you’ll know that the action never really did stop, no matter where Jordan Belfort was, and no matter who he was with. Does the name Naomi ring a bell? How could it not? Belfort’s deviant-turned-mistress-turned wife slayed him at first glance.

But dare I say it was more like lust at first sight rather than love? She was golden tan and platinum blonde and voluptuous, so of course the power-hungry (or, power-thirsty, rather) Belfort craved for her affection. And he got that on the first date: a full-frontal right at her living room entrance. Not just for Leonardo DiCaprio to enjoy, but for everyone who paid $12 to see this cinematic masterpiece.

This is where the majority of the controversy lies, though. Noted as offensive and an objectification of women, ladies were warned that they wouldn’t last through this movie. Even my vocal, open-minded aunt confessed that she left halfway through. Critics complained that Margot Robbie’s nudity – along with others’ that were displayed in the movie – sold women as objects of desire. However, Robbie defended her character and said that it was voluntary. She told a British magazine, “If it’s justified and the character would do it, it should be there.”

One of her biggest points was during a Red Carpet interview at the Golden Globes that I never initially took into consideration, but resonated and stuck with me. When asked about being criticized as a result of her nudity, she felt that it was expressing how much power women actually do have over men – but in a desirable way. More specifically, in this case, the benefits of Naomi’s body won over Belfort’s heart and mind, and with that, she was able to get anything she wanted from him, whether it was material, physical, or emotional.

Any girl can use this to her benefit. But that’s not a good thing. Whether a woman wants to climb a corporate ladder or pin a guy into a relationship, sex isn’t the way to achieve it. The pleasure can only last for so long.

So a man hires a woman for a relatively important role based on looks rather than professionalism and qualifications. Sure, she’s attractive, but just because she gets the job done in between the sheets doesn’t mean she knows how to use Google Analytics or write up a flowchart. If you fall for that, then congratulations, you’ve been officially screwed intwo ways!

And no matter what the physical exchange is for, the results are short-term for men, but whether women want to fight it off or not, the feelings last with them, thanks to oxytocin. That’s the hormone that’s released when a woman peaks. Therefore, it is literally impossible for women to not emotionally attach onto men they sleep with. Once again, guys, you are screwed in two ways.

As much as my or any other girl’s body can be a powerful tool to get what they want, there’s no breath of relief that compares to any professional accomplishments I’ve had. My personality and my passion will get me where I want to be, both personally and professionally. Not my body.