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“I Know A Lot Of People.”

Aside from a career in online media, residences in New York and Paris, and a teacup Yorkie named Champagne, one of my goals in life is to establish a wide, well-versed social circle. Whether real or fictitious, I look to influences from Ari Gold of “Entourage” to Kyle of “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” that establish fantasies in my head of a large Chanel-clad clique sparkling and stepping behind me as we enter a magazine launch party at some sophisticated meatpacking rooftop. It’s a dream life, but who can blame me?

They say that “if you can dream it, you can do it,” so I’ve begun to take the dream of professional and social success into my hands and turn it into the life that I’ve envisioned. And it’s happening, there’s no doubt. However, I’m not strutting around in fur shawls yet. But I look at and talk to people even my own age and they’re climbing up the ladders and building a hierarchy not based on talent, but more so on location, or, even more SMH-inducing, their “connections.”

I hate to say that a lot of small things irritate me, but nothing turns me off more than hearing someone say “I know a lot of people.” And then they roll their eyes, talking about the semi-socialite that they have to drive to McDonald’s, but then go hang out with them on the porch of their Long Island mansion. That’s wonderful for you. Can you see me clapping in your honor?

But I came into the city not knowing anyone in any industry that I envisioned a future in. And for a small girl striving for a career in media, it’s not easy to stand out and contact people. Although I’ve gotten it done, it’s almost condescending to hear someone say “I know a lot of people” or “I have connections” when you ask how they were selected for an internship position that you applied for (several times) and wanted so badly.

Meeting new people, connecting, and making new friends is one of my favorite activities. Being open, personable and relatable attracts others to you (even if you do so on LinkedIn, Twitter, what have it). But I have to create a circle and create connections all on my own. Getting what you want isn’t easy, but I’m not backing out any time soon, and my mom did always tell me I have an infectious smile.

This Is Your Life

What I’m doing right now does not feel like a chore. But what exactly am I doing? I’m sitting at my desk, tapping my fingertips on the keyboard of my new MacBook Air, sipping a venti iced coffee and banging out this entry. I could take a picture of this with my romantic chandelier lamp in the background lit up and want to jump right into it like it’s Narnia. This is my paradise.

I’ve heard time and time again that the hobbies you picked up as kids eventually come full circle with your aspirations. It’s like a circle of fate. When I was little, three things in particular became my go-to activities when I was bored: drawing, playing on the computer, and writing “books.”

These books were, if I may say so myself, kind of adorable. I wrote about cats, I wrote a “novel” about a family vacation, I wrote comic books about superhero athletes. And soon enough, I worked my way up to even write a musical, with stage direction and songs written by me. I took it a few steps further in high school in my journalism class and assumed a role on our school newspaper.

My biggest fear, though, was that my writing skills were not up to par. I was fortunate to earn high grades and good reviews on writing assignments from professors, but I was thinking very far ahead of myself. I looked into the future and my career very young and a twinge of fear that I wasn’t good enough for the big leagues (ie. national newspapers,Cosmo, even travel brochures) hit me like a moving car.

Still, I was (and still am) intent on achieving a career in media no matter what and wanted to take a route in TV production. And that I did for my first year in college. But when the opportunity arose for me to go down the path at my current internship, I took it. I started out just doing social media for Guest of a Guest, but I volunteered to make any type of contribution I could, and so, the responsibilities picked up. I started to do the tasks that I not only saw myself doing for a career, but already enjoyed: writing and reporting.

Writing is challenging, but I have a passion for it. The ability to tell a story and be creative in this fashion is empowering. My words are out there and I want people to listen.

On a small, student-level scale, I’m “living my dream job,” writing, reporting, and helping to handle a publication. I’ve never had more fun being exposed to a potential career. And when work is fun, it doesn’t feel like work.

Dear HR, Why Don’t You Love Me?

The drama you endured in seventh grade is not completely irrelevant. If anyone has ever said “your experiences shape you as a person” or some cliché bull of the sort, in a way, it’s not far off. Seeing your BFF Katie talk to your crush, Alex, when she obviously knew how much you “like-liked” him was totally not cool, and then finding out he asked her to the Halloween dance instead of you was nothing short of a cut in the gut.

But in one way or another, we’ve been here, at this stage and felt this tinge of emotional pain. The guy you went out with last week doesn’t call you back. Your mom spits out cupcakes you baked for her office party. Your dog doesn’t run to you when you walk in the door. There is nothing more heartbreaking than being told that you aren’t good enough, but it’s exponentially more hurtful when it comes from someone of higher authority – a potential employer.

A hustling and hungry student (ie: me) is all too eager to not have her eyes glued to job boards and edit resume after resume to send to Human Resources departments. The cover letter has been quadruple-checked for spelling errors and address changes and you think, “I’m gonna kill it.” And once you press “Submit,” there is no going back.

This semester, I probably went through this process about 40 or 50 times in total. For those of us who struggle with patience, the anticipation of getting a response from a company that you admire like a fangirl makes you tick. It’s exhilarating to know that you could possibly contribute to a force that has had such influence on your interests and your life, but it’s stressful to have to play the waiting game with HR.

Silence screams in exponential volumes. Companies get applicants for jobs and internships like they’re hosting a One Direction meet and greet – it’s hard to get back to everyone, let alone even skim the applications. I’ve been in this situation and have re-sent and re-re-sent applications to companies, especially the ones that are at the top of my “Dream Careers” list. But still, just because you send once doesn’t mean it’s enough to get a response.

Nothing, however, compares to a rejection notification. There have been instances when I’ve gotten automated email responses within 12 hours of applying that said, “Currently, you don’t fit the qualifications.” Some messages have been more personalized, and while I appreciate being notified, it can be upsetting. You stare at your screen, take a deep breath and think, What do they have that I don’t have?

You see how your questions have come full circle – what does Katie have that you don’t have? What does the lucky applicant who got the job have that you don’t have?

From what I know, you have to keep moving forward. Remain positive. Remain polite. If you’ve spoken to anyone regarding positions and opportunities, don’t lose touch. Hustle and do anything you can to stay in the game. If you’re passionate enough about it, you’ll get what you deserve… And probably a nicer guy than your seventh grade crush.